PRETENSE

She tried to walk away and keep the dream,
the place where what she needs her knight provides,
a world of passion, love and deep esteem,
where cherished she no longer has to hide.

And there she's not afraid to be herself,
and knows that what she is completes his own,
adorned with love she's never before felt,
a surety of self she's never known.

In dreams she blossoms where he shelters her,
as if she's half alive when he's not there,
a woman in whom fullness never stirs,
unless protected in his manly care.

And in that world she doesn't have to face,
the lasting truth that fills her empty life,
she will not have that thing that is the base
of one-ness growing out of sharing strife.

But, though she tried she couldn't walk away,
yet truth of them she doesn't want to see,
he beneath their friendships gentle sway,
pretends for her that hope may one day be.

He tells her that she still rests in his heart,
and for her need she lets herself believe,
so still at times she writes them in her art,
a world of dreams and loving ecstasy.

But, in the night she wakes from fantasy,
and knows she is not woman that he wants,
the Lady at his side his friends will see,
a captivating memory that haunts.

Yet, sometimes she can't stop the words she speaks,
though every time she fears he'll walk away
for what she gives she knows he didn't seek,
and what she needs in sadness he can't pay.

So, she writes him stories in the night
to titilate and light a burning fire,
pretends she's just a nymph or mountain sprite,"
and hides the love 'neath sexual desire.

And lovingly she whispers "It's all right.
I've known that Knight and Lady cannot be,
no matter link that binds us in this plight,
despite my love for you and yours for me".

And then with love hid from her speaking eyes,
she gently places fingers to his lips,
steps into his arms and blushing sighs
pretends it's love, he passion deeply sips.

So now she lives in worlds divided deep,
the one a hope on fire, a longing soul,
the truth, a love fate will not let her keep,
and nothing 'twixt the two that makes her whole.

But, every night they wander on his steed
the Knight and Lady bonded from the start,
and all the love they share in unsung deeds
remains a precious gift within her heart.©
~RAC   8-29-99~